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Geek walks into a bar jokes

A nerd walks into a bar. And…

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says we don’t serve viruses. The virus replaces the bartender and says "Now we do."

A infectious disease walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don’t serve infectious diseases." The infectious disease says "Well, you’re not a very good host."

Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don’t serve bacteria in this bar." The bacterias say "But we work here, we’re Staph."

A room temperature super conductor walks into the bar. The bartender says "We don’t serve room temperature super conductors here." The room temperature super conductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

An infrared photon walks into a bar and says "Is it hot in here or it is just me."

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don’t serve neutrinos in this bar." The neutrino says "Hey, I was just passing through."

Schroedinger’s Cat walks into a bar…and doesn’t.

The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says "We don’t allow Higgs boson in here. The Higgs boson says, "But without me how can you have mass?"

A statistician walks into just your average bar. The bartender says "We don’t serve statisticians." The statistician says, "Well you’re just mean."

Some Helium gas drifts into the bar. "The bartender says we don’t serve Helium." The Helium doesn’t react.