Uh, child services?

Why, why, why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you’re broke?Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if…

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new…

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?Do Lipton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?I thought about how mothers feed their babies with…

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?If a pig loses…