How You Can Tell When It’s Going to be a Bad Day

Here are 15 signs that you are going to have a really bad day. 1. You wake up – face down on the pavement

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. “My darling Becky,” he whispered.

After a campaign tour, George W. Bush was waiting in the airport for his flight to be called. Off at the edge of the waiting area, Bush saw a tall man with white hair and a flowing white beard. The guy was dressed in a robe, and he was carrying two large, flat pieces of…

Here are Funny Grins top ten suggestions for guys playing golf (or while using a public bathroom). 10. Keep back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder-width apart.

Michael O’Rourke brought his fiancée to Ireland to meet his mother, telling her to answer all of her future mother- in-law’s questions honestly regardless of what they were. “Cheryl my dear what kind of work did you do in London?”

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. “You’re not allowed to pee in the pool,” said the lifeguard. “I’m going to report you.”

There was once a clairvoyant little boy, who could see into the future. One night while saying his prayers, the little boy’s parents were listening and heard him finish,”God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, goodbye grandpa.” The next day his grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack.

Cute Life Quotes

Fashion fades, only style remains the same. (Coco Chanel) No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap. (Carrie Snow) A warrior seeks to act rather than talk. (Carlos Castaneda) Dance is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. (George Bernard Shaw) Impoliteness is frequently the sign of an awkward modesty that…

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.