The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.”
A Case for the FBI
75 Fun Things to Do at the Doctor’s/Dentist’s Office/Waiting Room
75 FUN THINGS TO DO AT THE DOCTOR’S/DENTIST’SOFFICE/WAITING ROOM: Sit down right next to a complete stranger. Turn and smile. Turn back whenever they look. Then, after a few minutes, stick your nose into their armpit and start to sniff them.Go up to the receptionist with your lips wrapped around your teeth and loudly demand…
71 Things to do on an Exam You Know You’re Going to Fail
71 THINGS TO DO ON AN EXAM YOU KNOW THATYOU ARE GOING TO FAIL 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’vegot the secret documents!!” 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud,debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,yell out, “I’m SOOO sure…
7 Ways to Be Annoying on Christmas
1. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, “Santa Claus is coming to town,Santa Claus is coming to town” 2. Hang a stocking with your roommate’s name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. 3. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you…
50 Ways to Confuse People in the Computer Lab (1980’s version)
50 Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare the Bejeezus Out of the People in the Computer Lab
50 Fun Things to Do in Class
Okay, guys, we’ve been in school for a few weeks now, and in case you find your classes to be dull, try a few of these things to liven up class a bit. 1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, “Quite right, old bean!”2. Wear…
45 Fun Things to Do On an Essay You Don’t Care About
45 fun things to do on a paper you don’t care about 1. Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fontswith really small fonts. 2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual. 3. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by stickingthem all over the professor’s…
39 Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
39 Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid: 1)A few clowns short of a circus.2)A few fries short of a Happy Meal.3)An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.4)A few beers short of a six-pack.5)Dumber than a box of hair.6)A few peas short of a casserole.7)Doesn’t have all her cornflakes in one box.8)The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s…
30 Fun Things to Do While Driving
30 Fun Things to do When Driving 1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.4. Two words: Chicken suit.5. Write the words “Help…
Interesting Ways to Relieve Stress
Interesting Ways to Relieve Stress 1. Shove 20 marshmallows up your nose and try sneezing them out. 2. Use your Master Card to pay off your Visa. 3. WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO HAVE A NICE DAY, TELL THEM THAT YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS. 4. Make a TO-DO list of things that you have already…
