An attorney walked into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks like plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But it…

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double.

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the…