Ways to Get Kicked Out of a Lab
Every so often, we hear this question. “But Geek Slop, I don’t like science. I’m perfectly happy working behind the counter of a fast-food restaurant until I’m 85 years old. How can I get out of this horrible lab work!”
So here are 11 different ways to get kicked out of a Science Lab…
- Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear and insist on describing the sound to everyone else in the lab.
- Give a cup of liquid Nitrogen to a lab mate and say, “Does this taste funny?”
- Explain to the teacher that you want to drop out of Chemistry because when you write the 3 atoms of Potassium as “KKK”, you find it politically incorrect.
- Mutter repeatedly, “No, not again … not again … not again …”
- When it’s very quiet, suddenly cry out, “My eyes!”
- Irritate the others by steadfastly denying the existence of chemicals.
- Begin pronouncing everything your foreign lab instructor says back to him precisely the way he sounds.
- With weenies and a coat hanger brought from home, roast weenies and sing campfire songs around the Bunsen burner.
- Insist to the teacher that every time he turns on the oxygen tank it makes you dizzy.
- Grasp your head between your hands and shout, “Why, oh why can I not figure out that 355th element on the periodic table!”
- Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the teacher pours the sulfuric acid.
In-Article Image CreditsClassroom and Lab in Medical Building 1927 University of Alberta via Wikimedia Commons with usage type - Public Domain. 1927
Featured Image CreditClassroom and Lab in Medical Building 1927 University of Alberta via Wikimedia Commons with usage type - Public Domain. 1927