Classroom and Lab in Medical Building 1927 University of Alberta

Ways to Get Kicked Out of a Lab

Every so often, we hear this question. “But Geek Slop, I don’t like science. I’m perfectly happy working behind the counter of a fast-food restaurant until I’m 85 years old. How can I get out of this horrible lab work!”

So here are 11 different ways to get kicked out of a Science Lab…

Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear and insist on describing the sound to everyone else in the lab.
Give a cup of liquid Nitrogen to a lab mate and say, “Does this taste funny?”
Explain to the teacher that you want to drop out of Chemistry because when you write the 3 atoms of Potassium as “KKK”, you find it politically incorrect.
Mutter repeatedly, “No, not again … not again … not again …”
When it’s very quiet, suddenly cry out, “My eyes!”
Irritate the others by steadfastly denying the existence of chemicals.
Begin pronouncing everything your foreign lab instructor says back to him precisely the way he sounds.
With weenies and a coat hanger brought from home, roast weenies and sing campfire songs around the Bunsen burner.
Insist to the teacher that every time he turns on the oxygen tank it makes you dizzy.
Grasp your head between your hands and shout, “Why, oh why can I not figure out that 355th element on the periodic table!”
Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the teacher pours the sulfuric acid.