If you say you paid, I’ll take your word for it

A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9. “But I paid, don’t you remember?’ says the customer. “OK”’ says the bartender, “If you say you paid, you did.”

A man is sitting in the bar for 30 minutes staring at a drink that is sitting in front of him. Then a big trouble-making truck driver steps up next to the man, takes the drink from him and empties the glass. The poor man starts crying.

A golf club walks into a bar and orders a beer, but the bartender refuses to serve him. “Why not?” asks the golf club. “You’ll be driving later.”

A head walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink, and after he is finished, Boom! A torso appears. So the head asks for another drink and after he finishes, Bang! Arms come out of the torso.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are sitting in a bar in Texas on one of the hottest days on record and sit down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walks in and says, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

A sailor and a pirate are talking each a bar. Their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies. The sailor notices that the pirate has an eye patch, a hook and a peg…

A Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog walk into a bar for a drink. A great-looking female collie comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.”

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR with his dog. He puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, “This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet $5 that you can ask him anything and he will tell you the right answer.”

Thoughts about Life

This chain letter made the rounds in early 2011 featuring cute photographs of animals matched with famous quotations regarding life and humanity.

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, ‘Does your dog bite?’ The lady answers, ‘Never!’ The man reaches out to pat the dog…