How much do I owe you for that haircut

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, the priest asked how much he owed for the haircut. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord.” The next morning, the barber arrived at work and found twelve prayer books and a thank you…

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Airline introduces half-price fare for wives of businessmen

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A popular airline recently introduced a new special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great success and feedback from their marketing promotion, the airline sent out letters to wives of all the businessmen who had used the special rates, asking them how they enjoyed their trip.

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The benefits of etiquette school

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Two fine southern ladies were sitting on the front porch having some iced tea and enjoying each other’s company. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says “Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn’t it nice?”

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I don’t want to have to do what I did in Texas

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a local saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on the strangers that visited their town. When the cowboy finished his drink, he waked outside and found his horse had been stolen. He stormed back into the bar and fired a…

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Yes sir, I’ve been telling him to slow down for miles

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man and his wife were driving down the road when a cop turns on his lights and pulls them over. The cop says to the man, “Do you know that you were speeding?” The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know I was speeding.” The mans wife then yells, “Yes you did, you knew…

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Only whores and hockey players live in Minnesota

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a supermarket. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man insisted that he did not need a whole head, only half.

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An easy way to get that corpse into his blue suit

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

The widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he’s in his brown suit. She’d specifically told the funeral home that she wanted him buried in his favorite blue suit. She was distressed that the mortician had left him in the same brown suit…

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