Dearest Wife, just checked in

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on…

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State Wildlife Division warning for hikers, hunters, and fishermen

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

The Colorado State Wildlife Division is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge and Keystone areas. They advise people to wear noise producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert the bears but not startle them unexpectedly. They also…

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Sorry, this plane will lift all this hunting gear

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of…

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Can’t tell you because you’re not a monk

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep,…

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You can’t take your wealth with you

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An…

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The Pope’s first time driving

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

The Pope comes to America. Of course, he’s very busy. Masses, rallies, dinners, events, etc. For security, he has the same limo driver daily. One evening at a banquet, he sees a chance to sneak away unnoticed. He goes out back, finds his limo, knocks on the window and finds the driver lounging in the…

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Moses and his threesome on the golf course

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Moses put together a threesome and they hit the links. Moses pulled up to the tee, took out his driver, and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but bounced directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and…

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