After the 4/10/2017 video footage of a passenger being roughed up after refusing to give up his seat to airline employees, United Airlines is suffering a brutal takedown of its own. Their motto, “Fly the Friendly Skies” seems to have lost its meaning. Instead, here are some funny new mottos we believe the beleaguered airline should now consider.

Not enough seating? Prepare for a beating!
United Airlines: Now serving Punch!
Just imagine how we treat your luggage.
Hey, we said the “skies” were friendly…
Early boarding, late boarding, water boarding – all the same to us.
Board as a doctor, leave as a patient.
Please keep feet out of the aisle – we need dragging room.
You carry on, we carry off.
We can re-accommodate you the easy way… or the hard way.
United Airlines: Now offering the Mike Tyson experience.
She’s got a ticket to ride – and we don’t care.
New boarding policy: “Eeny, meeny, miney, mo…”
Would you like a window seat… or a concussion?
Not only can our United family not wear leggings, but tickets must be paid for with the blood of an innocent.
If you weren’t afraid of flying before, you will be now!
We put the hospital in hospitality.
We treat you like we treat your luggage.
We’ll beat any price – and any customer.
If we overbook, you’ll catch a right hook.