But I know this is not my seat

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the crowded movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed to occupy one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge an inch.

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and some clever advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 6:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be…

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time this month and found the boss waiting for him at his desk. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” the boss asked while dripping sarcasm. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

Some kid demonstrated his artist flair on this dirty car…

Not sure whether to laugh or cry about this “snake fail”. Question is, “did the guy who snapped the picture help get the can off the snake’s head?”

Bernie was eating dinner at a friend’s home when he noticed that Morris, the dinner host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

Bubba was a hillbilly living way out in the sticks. One day Bubba decided that he wanted to marry his sweetheart. So, while enjoying a hearty meal of raccoon and biscuits for dinner one evening, Bubba brought up the subject with his Ma and Pa.

A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do in a newly remodeled home. He checks his pockets and to his dismay, finds that his cigarettes are missing. He glanced down and notices a small lump in the recently completed carpet…

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and approached their boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, “Jesus, I’ve suffered from back pain ever since I began working in the warehouse 18 years…

A young lad was proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend. The college student led the way into the living room where the friend noticed a large gong and hammer sitting against one wall.