The doctor wants to buy our paintings

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it…

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Have you read Marx?

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Two old men, one a retired professor of psychology and the other a retired professor of history, were on a two-week stay at a vacation resort with their wives. While the wives shopped in town, the two old men were sitting on the porch of the hotel watching the sun set on the horizon.

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Funny Hurricane Irene Tweets

Caution Twitter Hack and Crash

On August 26, just one week after a rare earthquake rocked the area, Hurricane Irene pummuled the East Coast residents for three days. Of course, the tweets flew faster than the storm. Below are the funniest twitter tweets that resulted.

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The Amish solution to Beauty

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A teenage Amish boy and his father were in a new multi-story shopping mall. They were amazed at all the modern technology that they saw but were especially impressed with the two shiny, silver walls that opened up to allow people in and then slid back together again leaving the people enclosed in the little…

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Get me a drink before it starts

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man arrives at his home after an exhausting day at work. He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife rolls her eyes, sighs and gets him a beer.

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But I know this is not my seat

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the crowded movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed to occupy one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge an inch.

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But I just gotta reach the door

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and some clever advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 6:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be…

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I don’t buy that excuse for you being late

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time this month and found the boss waiting for him at his desk. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” the boss asked while dripping sarcasm. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

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