You’ve Got Plenty of Life Left in You

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near- death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

While sports fishing just off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?”

Two fellas from Arkansas approach each other on the street. One is carrying a large sack. “Hey, Tommy Ray, whacha got in the bag?” “Jus’ some chickens.” “If I guesses how many they are, kin I have one?”

Dave is struggling through the Dallas airport terminal with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a man stops him and says “Pardon me, do you have the time?” Dave sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to three”, he says.

A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK so you released me from the lamp blah blah blah, but this is the fourth time this week and I’m getting a little sick…

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the…

The following chain letter made the rounds in early February 2011. These unique photographs use the Sun in the background as a rather unique prop…

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews: Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire”

Corporate mergers are quite common. Often when companies merge, they use a combination of their company names to form an entirely new company name. The following are possible mergers and Funny Grins’ suggestion for what the new company could be named.

One day many years ago, a fisherman’s wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn’t think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, “Let’s not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to…