You can’t take your wealth with you

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An…

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

The Pope comes to America. Of course, he’s very busy. Masses, rallies, dinners, events, etc. For security, he has the same limo driver daily. One evening at a banquet, he sees a chance to sneak away unnoticed. He goes out back, finds his limo, knocks on the window and finds the driver lounging in the…

Moses put together a threesome and they hit the links. Moses pulled up to the tee, took out his driver, and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but bounced directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and…

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were.

Earl was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Earl how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

A collection of simple, one-line questions with answers that will leave you in stitches.

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. And of course he was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not fasting or on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail.

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day after Easter service, and as always the preacher was standing at the doorshaking hands as the congregation departed. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The preacher said to him, “You need to join the Army of the…

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need You.…