More jokes that only nerds will get…

• Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
• Shut up, or i’ll flush you out
• Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
• We are experiencing system trouble — do not adjust your terminal
• You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
• I’m sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
• Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
• Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
• If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question
• Having soundcards is nice… having embedded sound in web pages is not
• My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
• You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
• Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
• I’m sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
• Ah, young webmaster… java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
• What color do you want that database?
• C++ is a write-only language. I can write programs in C++, but I can’t read any of them
• As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code

Keep ‘em coming.  Here’s more Geek jokes.

• PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
• 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
• 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
• Error message: "Out of paper on drive D:"
• If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
• A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
• "Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?"
• Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
• Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
• Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
• Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
• Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
• Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
• Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
• All computers run at the same speed… with the power off
• You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
• Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
• Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel

Oh yeah, I’ve got a million of these.  Still more geek jokes.

• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
• Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
• It’s not bogus, it’s an IBM standard
• Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
• The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
• Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
• The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers
• If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won’t mar the furniture
• COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key
• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
• LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
• The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
• Squash one bug, you’ll see ten new bugs popping
• Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
• boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
• We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
• If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBO
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner