Why the Chicken Crossed the Road

Why did the chicken cross the road? PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

An elderly couple went to the doctor complaining about their memory loss. The doctor explained it is normal, and suggested they try and write things down. In the evening the husband said, “I’m going to get something to snack on. Do you want something?”

A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so would you…

A man comes in to the room and says to his wife, “I’m going to the pub. Get your coat on.” The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity, replies, “Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?”

An American tourist travelling in Limerick came across a little antique shop in which he was lucky enough to pick up, for a mere $150, the skull of Saint Patrick. Included in the price was a certificate of the skull’s authenticity, signed by Saint Patrick himself.

“May I take your order?” the waiter asked. “Yes. I’m just wondering, how do you prepare your chickens?”

A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, “Where does you go to school?”

Redneck stories and quips such as: How do you know when you’re staying in an Alabama hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve got a leak in my sink,” and the person at the front desk says, “Go ahead.”

Rednick questions and answers such as: How can you tell if a redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.