Get ’em while they last

Why did the chicken cross the road? PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

“May I take your order?” the waiter asked. “Yes. I’m just wondering, how do you prepare your chickens?”

Two fellas from Arkansas approach each other on the street. One is carrying a large sack. “Hey, Tommy Ray, whacha got in the bag?” “Jus’ some chickens.” “If I guesses how many they are, kin I have one?”

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all travelling at maxi- mum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

A guy named David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.

One day Ma an Pa were out for a Sunday drive. They’re driving along at about 40 mph when Pa hears “cluck, cluck”. He looks out the window and running beside the car is a chicken. Pa increases his speed to 60 mph, looks out the window, and the hen is still running alongside the…