The Polite Way to Say Death by Hanging

The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn’t answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had…

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body. “Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous…

DALL·E 2022 10 04 12.50.03 death angry cartoon

Death, angry, pain, sad, and angry limericks such as: There once was a consumer named Phil Who really wanted to kill A sly young vendor Who mad him a big spender And gave him a very large bill.

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. “My darling Becky,” he whispered.

There was once a clairvoyant little boy, who could see into the future. One night while saying his prayers, the little boy’s parents were listening and heard him finish,”God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, goodbye grandpa.” The next day his grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack.

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near- death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how…

There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church and looked to be perfect religionists. Then, their pastor retired and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers’ deception, but he also…

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on…

An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.