No free advice

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A doctor and an attorney were attending a formal party where they started up a casual conversation. As they talked, people kept approaching the doctor describing their aches and pains and asking the doctor for advice.

Read more

You have ten to live

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man who hadn’t been feeling well for quite some time, went to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news for you sir,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left to live.”

Read more

Give me the worst bad news first

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A elderly man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the doctor conducts the examine and reviews the results, the calls the patient into the room telling him that he had a couple of items of bad news to pass on. The patient says, “Give me the worst of the bad news first!”

Read more

You aren’t the first doctor to sleep with a patient joke

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him: “Bob, don’t…

Read more

You gotta eat better

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor.

Read more

Doctor, I hurt all over

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” asked the doctor. “You have to help me doc, I hurt all over”, said the woman.

Read more

How much for a brain?

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it’s inoperable – in fact, it’s so large, they have to do a brain transplant.

Read more

Honey, what’s for dinner?

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

Read more