Tag: lawyer
Legal and Law Enforcement Limericks
Yes, I Know Him
A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big…
Witness, Please Answer the Question
One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no- nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it’s rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform. “Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney.
I got away with murder
Two prisoners are in their jail cells talking about the crimes that they committed. Prisoner 1: “I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years”.
Attorney Questions and Answers
Tech Lawyer Math
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with “How much is two plus two?”
This is how you know you’re really drunk
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double.
Your Dad’s a What?
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”
Are you Talking to Me?
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
