My dog is smarter than your dog

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which one had the smartest dog. First Woman : “My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces…

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernuth, and sat down to explain his problem. “Doctor, doctor!” he started. I’ve got this problem,” the man continued. “I keep hallucinating that I’m a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees mountain dog. It’s crazy. I don’t know what to do!”

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, the priest asked how much he owed for the haircut. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord.” The next morning, the barber arrived at work and found twelve prayer books and a thank you…

A popular airline recently introduced a new special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great success and feedback from their marketing promotion, the airline sent out letters to wives of all the businessmen who had used the special rates, asking them how they enjoyed their trip.

Two fine southern ladies were sitting on the front porch having some iced tea and enjoying each other’s company. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says “Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn’t it nice?”

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a local saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on the strangers that visited their town. When the cowboy finished his drink, he waked outside and found his horse had been stolen. He stormed back into the bar and fired a…

A man and his wife were driving down the road when a cop turns on his lights and pulls them over. The cop says to the man, “Do you know that you were speeding?” The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know I was speeding.” The mans wife then yells, “Yes you did, you knew…

Have you ever had a day where you felt like this? Funny picture of dog sitting on cat’s head.

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of a supermarket. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man insisted that he did not need a whole head, only half.