Got any bread?

A duck walks into a store and says, “Got any bread?” The salesman says, “No.” The duck says, “Got any bread?” The salesman says, “NO!” “Got any bread?”

A Frenchman walks into McDonalds with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot is wearing a baseball cap. The lady at the counter says, “Hey, that’s cool – where did you get that?”

Two atoms are walking along talking and the first atom says, “Dang – I think I’ve lost an electron!” The second atom asks, “Are you sure?”

A man walks into a restaurant in Ireland, and asks the barman, “What’s the quickest way to get to Dublin?” “Are you walking or driving?” asks the barman.

A man walks into a bar with a pie on his head. The bartender says, “You’ve got a pie on your head.” The man says, “Yeah, I always wear a pie on my head on Wednesdays.”

A out of towner is sitting in a bar in a remote Australian town. The newcomer hears people yell out numbers (42, 16, 28, and so on) and then everyone laughs. He asks the bloke next to him what’s going on, and he explains that the jokes have been told so many times before that…

A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9. “But I paid, don’t you remember?’ says the customer. “OK”’ says the bartender, “If you say you paid, you did.”

A man is sitting in the bar for 30 minutes staring at a drink that is sitting in front of him. Then a big trouble-making truck driver steps up next to the man, takes the drink from him and empties the glass. The poor man starts crying.

A golf club walks into a bar and orders a beer, but the bartender refuses to serve him. “Why not?” asks the golf club. “You’ll be driving later.”

A head walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink, and after he is finished, Boom! A torso appears. So the head asks for another drink and after he finishes, Bang! Arms come out of the torso.