Real world court exchanges

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

What’s the difference between an attorney and a trampoline?

A short blonde question and answer session.

Once upon a time, there was this bar and in the bar, there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie, the mirror would suck you in.

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren’t dumb.

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to see her doctor.

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer leans over to the blond and asks her if she would like to play a fun game to pass the time.

There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting “88, 88, 88, 88…” until a blonde came up to her…

Two blonds are driving on a Highway. They switch on the radio and there is a warning: “Please note that a car is driving on highway 75 against the traffic.” The one blonde turns to the other and says: “One? There are hundreds of them!”

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.” – Rick Cook “Lisp isn’t a language, it’s a building material.” – Alan Kay. “Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy…