Funny things said on a plane

The following are collection of (supposedly) true announcements made on some of the more humorous national airlines.

A popular airline recently introduced a new special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great success and feedback from their marketing promotion, the airline sent out letters to wives of all the businessmen who had used the special rates, asking them how they enjoyed their trip.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews: Problem: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement” Solution: “Almost replaced left inside main tire”

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. “It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.

The following are 12 rules that every airplane pilot vows to live by.

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of…