Southeast Portland Oregon residents are breathing a bit easier now – they now have a picture they hope will tie a man to the “evidence” left behind at various businesses in the area. Known as the Portland Pooper, for over a month now, a mysterious assailant has been defecating on business properties throughout the area and area business owners say they’ve had enough of his crap.
“I think it’s really gross and shocking. I just don’t know what to say about it.”
One business owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, finally decided to take matters into his own hands and make the unknown assailants #2 business his own business. The business owner placed a hidden surveillance camera in a window and aimed it at a nearby parking lot where the offender was known to “visit”. According to the business owner:
“I’m really curious what the circumstances are as to why he’s doing this.”
Area business owners didn’t have to wait long for an answer. To his surprise, the mystery pooper committed his act with mere feet from the hidden camera.
“It happened quickly, and I was amazed. The man even brought his own toilet paper.”
The video shows an unknown man dropping his drawers, leaning against a wall, and committing the felonious act. After a few minutes, the man looks over and seems to notice the camera.
“He’s got to know something is going on. He squints and then he’s paying attention.”
According to the business owner, an all-points bulletin of sorts has been distributed throughout the area.
“We put up some posters to just see if there’s anyone in the local region who knows who recognizes this bum.”
Police have not determined how many times the pooper has pooped at the spot, or if his pooping has spread elsewhere. A police report has been filed and police say, if caught, the man could face offensive littering charges.