Oh why did you have to leave me?

A man is visiting the cemetery to place flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother. He places the flowers on the grave and is walking back towards his car when he notices another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and repeating, “Why did you have…

A man arrives at his home after an exhausting day at work. He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife rolls her eyes, sighs and gets him a beer.

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time this month and found the boss waiting for him at his desk. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” the boss asked while dripping sarcasm. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

A man going through his mid-life crisis purchased a brand new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the wind was blowing through what was left of his hair, and feeling spry, he decided to see how fast this new baby could go. As the needle…

A popular airline recently introduced a new special half rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting great success and feedback from their marketing promotion, the airline sent out letters to wives of all the businessmen who had used the special rates, asking them how they enjoyed their trip.

A man and his wife were driving down the road when a cop turns on his lights and pulls them over. The cop says to the man, “Do you know that you were speeding?” The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know I was speeding.” The mans wife then yells, “Yes you did, you knew…

One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, “How sure are ya that she is gonna kill you? Did she threaten you?”

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “when did you bag him?” The host said, “that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.”

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or the mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the…