George Bush Greets Moses

After a campaign tour, George W. Bush was waiting in the airport for his flight to be called. Off at the edge of the waiting area, Bush saw a tall man with white hair and a flowing white beard. The guy was dressed in a robe, and he was carrying two large, flat pieces of…

Here are Funny Grins top ten suggestions for guys playing golf (or while using a public bathroom). 10. Keep back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder-width apart.

Michael O’Rourke brought his fiancée to Ireland to meet his mother, telling her to answer all of her future mother- in-law’s questions honestly regardless of what they were. “Cheryl my dear what kind of work did you do in London?”

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

Little Johnny is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. “You’re not allowed to pee in the pool,” said the lifeguard. “I’m going to report you.”

There was once a clairvoyant little boy, who could see into the future. One night while saying his prayers, the little boy’s parents were listening and heard him finish,”God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, goodbye grandpa.” The next day his grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack.

Fashion fades, only style remains the same. (Coco Chanel) No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap. (Carrie Snow) A warrior seeks to act rather than talk. (Carlos Castaneda) Dance is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. (George Bernard Shaw) Impoliteness is frequently the sign of an awkward modesty that…

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.

It is well documented that for every mile you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at the age of 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month!