Lone Ranger’s horse gets overheated

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto are sitting in a bar in Texas on one of the hottest days on record and sit down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walks in and says, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

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A seagull crapped in my eye

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A sailor and a pirate are talking each a bar. Their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies. The sailor notices that the pirate has an eye patch, a hook and a peg…

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The mathematical dog

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A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR with his dog. He puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, “This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet $5 that you can ask him anything and he will tell you the right answer.”

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Thoughts about Life

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This chain letter made the rounds in early 2011 featuring cute photographs of animals matched with famous quotations regarding life and humanity.

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My dog doesn’t bite

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A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, ‘Does your dog bite?’ The lady answers, ‘Never!’ The man reaches out to pat the dog…

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Invitation to my private party

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Sam had been in the hectic newspaper business for twenty-five years when he decided that he was sick of the stress and quit his job. He bought 50 acres of land in the middle of Nowhere, Vermont. His place was so isolated that the postman came only once a week and he went to the…

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Redneck Driver’s Application

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Redneck Driver’s License Application… Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Name (select one and only one and if you don’t remember it, check your drivers license before continuing):

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This is how Oregon cowboys do it

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Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask “Now…

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What type of snake are we?

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Two snakes were talking. The first one said, “Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisoned?”

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