Thoughts about Life

This chain letter made the rounds in early 2011 featuring cute photographs of animals matched with famous quotations regarding life and humanity.

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, ‘Does your dog bite?’ The lady answers, ‘Never!’ The man reaches out to pat the dog…

Sam had been in the hectic newspaper business for twenty-five years when he decided that he was sick of the stress and quit his job. He bought 50 acres of land in the middle of Nowhere, Vermont. His place was so isolated that the postman came only once a week and he went to the…

Redneck Driver’s License Application… Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Name (select one and only one and if you don’t remember it, check your drivers license before continuing):

Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask “Now…

Two snakes were talking. The first one said, “Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisoned?”

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch,leaping towards the ground below. On landing…