Make and wish and you’ll never work again

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. Since he’d heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and out popped a genie.

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance he coached his patients to respond to his commands, and when the day of the game arrived everything went very well… at first.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes up the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look up toward sky, what you see?”

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?”

Three men – a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer – are in Miami beach for a two-week period helping out on a project. About midweek, they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour.

A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Oklahoma Hills. Cowboy: “Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”

A blonde dyed her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on. She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm. She said to the farmer, “If I can tell you how many sheep you have in total can I have one?”

Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day , he just wasn’t paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man’s death.

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the…