Get me a drink before it starts

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man arrives at his home after an exhausting day at work. He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife rolls her eyes, sighs and gets him a beer.

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But I know this is not my seat

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the crowded movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed to occupy one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge an inch.

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But I just gotta reach the door

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and some clever advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 6:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be…

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I don’t buy that excuse for you being late

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time this month and found the boss waiting for him at his desk. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” the boss asked while dripping sarcasm. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

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