I can’t tell these dang horses apart

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A man walks into a bar, very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “What’s the matter?” The fellow replies, “Well, I’ve got these two horses, and well … I can’t tell them apart. I don”t know if I’m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right…

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Where did you get that parrot?

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A Frenchman walks into McDonalds with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot is wearing a baseball cap. The lady at the counter says, “Hey, that’s cool – where did you get that?”

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The mathematical dog

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR with his dog. He puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, “This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet $5 that you can ask him anything and he will tell you the right answer.”

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Thoughts about Life

This chain letter made the rounds in early 2011 featuring cute photographs of animals matched with famous quotations regarding life and humanity.

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My dog doesn’t bite

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, ‘Does your dog bite?’ The lady answers, ‘Never!’ The man reaches out to pat the dog…

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What type of snake are we?

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

Two snakes were talking. The first one said, “Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisoned?”

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Baby turtle can fly

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch,leaping towards the ground below. On landing…

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Super fast chickens

Laughing cat funny jokes with text

One day Ma an Pa were out for a Sunday drive. They’re driving along at about 40 mph when Pa hears “cluck, cluck”. He looks out the window and running beside the car is a chicken. Pa increases his speed to 60 mph, looks out the window, and the hen is still running alongside the…

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